since ten years I sign my letters with the word: love.p or lovelove, loving, i love you. or simply: love. maybe because that's my name. my essence. my religion.

i say goodbye and hug with it.

and then, 8 years ago, when Mom died, and so did I for the life as I knew it before, it became more emphatic in my life: i have only one job in life: to love. 'cause if life is so breakable, and maybe someone i meet today, never gonna cross my path again, then it's immpossible that s/he does not know i love her/him.

i love to say i love you.

it's also true, that many people's love is 'uneducated', and they cannot divide divine, unconditional love from eros love or friendship. in such cases i have to show it. look, this is love like thism and this is love like that. i hate to cause pain, but sometimes it's just inevitable. there is only one person, who couldn't forgive me, that i didn't loved her the way she wanted me to. it's not good at all for me to think about it. but i already outgrew to violate myself for the sake of others...

for me love is light. the atomic explosion, wich fills my empty heart. an empty heart full of light. that's all. that is ALL. that's everything. i live for this. that's my religion, my faith, my creed, my morning and evening.

even my name sometimes :) it's so good.

loving out the wounds from somebody. loving out my pains, the hardnesses indoctrinate in me. loving it out. what a nice verb, isn't it? it's like 'dreaming it alive'. but that, i'll write another time.

i love you.

love.p